me.

 
the saga continues.
chrisv958 (11:31:11 PM): YO
chrisv958 (11:31:18 PM): what up
miamigirl1288 (11:31:21 PM): hi there
chrisv958 (11:31:22 PM): excuse me.
miamigirl1288 (11:31:24 PM): i was just thinking of you.
chrisv958 (11:31:25 PM): hello, how are you doing?
chrisv958 (11:31:32 PM): were you? 'bout what?
miamigirl1288 (11:31:58 PM): can't entirely recall, actually.
miamigirl1288 (11:32:02 PM): just in a weird frame of mind.
miamigirl1288 (11:32:03 PM): how was your day?
chrisv958 (11:32:15 PM): it was nice.
chrisv958 (11:32:22 PM): equal balance of work, sleep, movies, and family.
chrisv958 (11:32:35 PM): actually, more of work and sleep, but nobody needs to know.
chrisv958 (11:33:23 PM): how bout you?
miamigirl1288 (11:34:37 PM): tv, ice cream, stern and finding nemo and trouble (the awesomest board game ever), and our family's belated father's day celebration.
chrisv958 (11:34:54 PM): hooray
miamigirl1288 (11:34:59 PM): which was truly awesome because i burned my dad this cd and he absolutely loved it
chrisv958 (11:35:16 PM): nice.
chrisv958 (11:36:26 PM): it is summer now so we cram all of msm into the teen center.
miamigirl1288 (11:36:51 PM): lol
miamigirl1288 (11:36:59 PM): what time does that end, anyway?
miamigirl1288 (11:37:00 PM): 10?
chrisv958 (11:37:01 PM): 11
miamigirl1288 (11:37:14 PM): wow i didnt realize it was so late.
miamigirl1288 (11:37:18 PM): wasnt it 10 back in the day?
chrisv958 (11:37:18 PM): indee
chrisv958 (11:37:21 PM): d
chrisv958 (11:37:31 PM): yep, 7:00-10:00 originally.
chrisv958 (11:37:38 PM): now it is 7:30 to 10:30 during the school year.
miamigirl1288 (11:37:39 PM): ah, ok.
miamigirl1288 (11:37:42 PM): thats what i thought.
chrisv958 (11:37:48 PM): and till 11 in the summer
miamigirl1288 (11:38:43 PM): goooootcha.
miamigirl1288 (11:38:49 PM): do you think that relationships are like cars?
miamigirl1288 (11:38:59 PM): as in.
chrisv958 (11:39:09 PM): they run out of gas?
chrisv958 (11:39:18 PM): or they get less value over time?
chrisv958 (11:39:24 PM): or they can go REALLY fast if you want them too.
miamigirl1288 (11:39:29 PM): i suppose, but more importantly, if you don't have your foot on the accelerator, can they keep going on gas you've put in earlier?
miamigirl1288 (11:39:32 PM): because i don't.
chrisv958 (11:39:49 PM): elaborate.
miamigirl1288 (11:39:52 PM): i think that there is only the positive and the negative.
miamigirl1288 (11:39:58 PM): if you're putting something in, you're putting something in.
miamigirl1288 (11:40:13 PM): NOT wanting to break up with someone isn't enough. you have to consciously WANT to be with them.
miamigirl1288 (11:40:15 PM): does that make sense?
chrisv958 (11:41:08 PM): it does alot.
chrisv958 (11:41:28 PM): but you can also want to break up with someone and conciously want to be with them, too.
chrisv958 (11:41:28 PM): can't you?
miamigirl1288 (11:43:03 PM): you mean both at the same time?
chrisv958 (11:44:12 PM): yea
chrisv958 (11:44:21 PM): i don't know i am throwing stuff out
miamigirl1288 (11:44:35 PM): you are right.
miamigirl1288 (11:44:40 PM): i think that it is possible...
miamigirl1288 (11:44:46 PM): to love somebody with all of you but not know how to be with them.
miamigirl1288 (11:46:10 PM): and now maybe i'm just throwing stuff out.
miamigirl1288 (11:46:13 PM): does that make sense?
chrisv958 (11:46:24 PM): yes it does
miamigirl1288 (11:46:41 PM): everything feels like shit tonight.
miamigirl1288 (11:47:01 PM): and every time i say anything at all i just get the sensation i'm only making it worse
miamigirl1288 (11:47:03 PM): and shittier
miamigirl1288 (11:47:05 PM): and weirder.
chrisv958 (11:47:19 PM): making what?
miamigirl1288 (11:47:31 PM): everything
miamigirl1288 (11:47:44 PM): actually, strike that.
miamigirl1288 (11:47:47 PM): family stuff is awesome lately.
chrisv958 (11:47:54 PM): the backbone.
miamigirl1288 (11:48:03 PM): i love my dad so much.
miamigirl1288 (11:48:07 PM): but dd doesn't understand where i'm coming from anymore
miamigirl1288 (11:48:14 PM): so i try to talk to lauren and smo but it isnt the same
miamigirl1288 (11:48:17 PM): not elbie, lauren v
miamigirl1288 (11:48:26 PM): and i talk to my friend at east but she doesnt know stern really
miamigirl1288 (11:48:36 PM): and i kinda talk to you but it is different, you know.
chrisv958 (11:49:01 PM): it's not different.
chrisv958 (11:49:02 PM): i know everything.
miamigirl1288 (11:49:20 PM): ha.
miamigirl1288 (11:49:24 PM): but not everything about me
chrisv958 (11:49:34 PM): psh.
miamigirl1288 (11:50:23 PM): just because i understand you doesn't mean that you understand me.
chrisv958 (11:50:36 PM): you don't understand me, though.
chrisv958 (11:50:37 PM): HA got you there.
miamigirl1288 (11:50:43 PM): and neither do you, me.
miamigirl1288 (11:51:15 PM): and even if you really cared to try you wouldn't be able to.
miamigirl1288 (11:51:20 PM): schawing.
chrisv958 (11:51:34 PM): HA
chrisv958 (11:51:42 PM): if you had all the time in the world you couldn't understand me.
miamigirl1288 (11:51:54 PM): because you don't understand yourself.
miamigirl1288 (11:51:55 PM): do you?
chrisv958 (11:52:06 PM): damn you do know me.
miamigirl1288 (11:52:13 PM): i win. :-)
miamigirl1288 (11:52:16 PM): its ok.
miamigirl1288 (11:52:26 PM): theres plenty we dont know about each other.
miamigirl1288 (11:53:44 PM): it kinda sucks, in a weird way, you know?
chrisv958 (11:53:55 PM): yea.
chrisv958 (11:54:01 PM): ,but what if no one had any secrets?
chrisv958 (11:54:14 PM): the world would either be really boring or really scary.
miamigirl1288 (11:54:23 PM): i wonder which one.
miamigirl1288 (11:54:33 PM): everyone gets their chance with everyone, though, you know?
miamigirl1288 (11:54:39 PM): i mean, i guess that sounds weird now.
miamigirl1288 (11:54:48 PM): but everyone gets their chance with everyone else to learn their secrets
miamigirl1288 (11:54:57 PM): sometimes you hold on to your chance, sometimes you do something to screw it up
miamigirl1288 (11:55:06 PM): sometimes you get seconds, sometimes thirds, sometimes none at all.
chrisv958 (11:55:40 PM): every time you send me a message it automatically pops up on top of my other ones even if i am typing something else.
miamigirl1288 (11:56:05 PM): that is because you want to see what i have to say more than anything else.
miamigirl1288 (11:57:28 PM): THATS RIGHT
miamigirl1288 (11:57:30 PM): DONT DENY
chrisv958 (11:57:37 PM): ok fine.
miamigirl1288 (11:57:51 PM): i think it would be nice to know all your secrets.
chrisv958 (11:58:07 PM): mine?
miamigirl1288 (11:58:11 PM): yes.
chrisv958 (11:58:11 PM): what would you like to
chrisv958 (11:58:13 PM): know?
miamigirl1288 (11:58:17 PM): mmm...
miamigirl1288 (11:58:19 PM): everything.
miamigirl1288 (11:58:21 PM): because you don't understand yourself so you need somebody else
miamigirl1288 (11:58:23 PM): to get inside your head
miamigirl1288 (11:58:26 PM): so they can understand you.
chrisv958 (11:58:37 PM): ask me a question
miamigirl1288 (11:58:59 PM): it doesn't work like that.
miamigirl1288 (11:59:06 PM): anyway, i've already asked all my pressing questions.
miamigirl1288 (11:59:15 PM): and you never answer in any way that's new.
miamigirl1288 (11:59:30 PM): everything has to start with a 'tell me everything'.
chrisv958 (12:00:17 AM): pressing questions?
miamigirl1288 (12:00:33 AM): yeah, but i guess they aren't really pressing anymore.
miamigirl1288 (12:00:37 AM): i save everything.
miamigirl1288 (12:00:38 AM): watch this:
miamigirl1288 (12:01:51 AM): Miamigirl1288 [12:32 AM]: i dont want to bother you but can i talk to you?
ChrisV958 [12:33 AM]: what do you mean?
Miamigirl1288 [12:33 AM]: can i ask something?
ChrisV958 [12:33 AM]: sure
Miamigirl1288 [12:34 AM]: when did things change? or...why?
Miamigirl1288 [12:34 AM]: i feel that i should say sorry cuz i know that you just want to keep going and that you probably shouldn't have to answer me but...there's so many questions that still run around in my head.
ChrisV958 [12:35 AM]: uhh.
ChrisV958 [12:35 AM]: i dont know...one night in HHI, to tell you the truth.
ChrisV958 [12:36 AM]: i just woke up in the morning and realized i didn't need a girlfriend.
ChrisV958 [12:36 AM]: nothing against you.
ChrisV958 [12:36 AM]: it would have been anyone.
ChrisV958 [12:36 AM]: but i wasn't gonna lie to you and pretend everythings ok, either.
Miamigirl1288 [12:37 AM]: of course not
Miamigirl1288 [12:38 AM]: and i wouldn't ever have wanted you to
Miamigirl1288 [12:40 AM]: i don't know, every time we talk now it feels so much like i have to force it. and i guess really that's all i wanted to know.
Miamigirl1288 [12:41 AM]: is how things changed so fast
Miamigirl1288 [12:42 AM]: so thanks and goodnight, for the second time
ChrisV958 [12:42 AM]: thats how i am i guess...lo siento.
ChrisV958 [12:42 AM]: goodnight
Miamigirl1288 [12:42 AM]: don't be sorry
Miamigirl1288 [12:42 AM]: and its just how i am, that i ask all these questions
Miamigirl1288 [12:43 AM]: lifes just easier for me when i make as much sense out of it as i can so i do what i have to do
Miamigirl1288 [12:43 AM]: talk to you later
ChrisV958 [12:44 AM]: adios
chrisv958 (12:02:42 AM): what was the date on that?
miamigirl1288 (12:02:57 AM): may 4th, 2003
chrisv958 (12:03:53 AM): wow.
miamigirl1288 (12:04:07 AM): i'm sorry. that was probably a pretty uncomfortable thing to send just then.
chrisv958 (12:04:18 AM): no it's cool.
miamigirl1288 (12:04:24 AM): a little crazy, huh?
chrisv958 (12:04:32 AM): do i always talk to people like i am a complete asshole?
miamigirl1288 (12:04:44 AM): i can't say.
miamigirl1288 (12:04:51 AM): you didn't come across as an asshole to me then.
miamigirl1288 (12:04:56 AM): you were perfect, to me.
chrisv958 (12:05:02 AM): it seems like it to me.
chrisv958 (12:05:13 AM): but that's good.
miamigirl1288 (12:05:22 AM): it is, at that.
miamigirl1288 (12:05:27 AM): it means you've changed.
miamigirl1288 (12:05:42 AM): and, you know, if you hadn't in the past...what? 14ish months? that'd be scary.
chrisv958 (12:05:57 AM): it would.
miamigirl1288 (12:06:18 AM): every time i reread that
miamigirl1288 (12:06:22 AM): i feel so dumb.
chrisv958 (12:06:27 AM): why?
miamigirl1288 (12:06:32 AM): because, i was.
miamigirl1288 (12:06:43 AM): i don't know.
miamigirl1288 (12:07:05 AM): you were the first person who ever really made me get that feeling of total euphoria.
miamigirl1288 (12:07:15 AM): so when it got snatched away, i don't think i knew how to handle it.
miamigirl1288 (12:07:19 AM): things were so different back then.
chrisv958 (12:08:57 AM): that means a lot.
miamigirl1288 (12:09:24 AM): what does?
chrisv958 (12:10:19 AM): knowing you mean a lot to someone else.
chrisv958 (12:10:23 AM): or you make someone else feel good.
miamigirl1288 (12:10:53 AM): can i say something dumb, now?
chrisv958 (12:11:15 AM): sure.
miamigirl1288 (12:11:33 AM): it means a lot to know that somebody else cares that they made you feel good.
miamigirl1288 (12:11:57 AM): and i think that sometimes part of me kind of wishes you hadn't made it go away.
miamigirl1288 (12:14:18 AM): sorry.
chrisv958 (12:14:54 AM): no it's fine.
miamigirl1288 (12:15:45 AM): blame it on the anesthetic still being in my system.
miamigirl1288 (12:16:00 AM): i should get some sleep, speaking of which.
chrisv958 (12:17:05 AM): you would have think that would have worn off by now :-)
miamigirl1288 (12:17:14 AM): shhhh!
miamigirl1288 (12:17:21 AM): it's my one size fits all excuse for my stupidity.
miamigirl1288 (12:17:35 AM): honesty has finally met its cure!
miamigirl1288 (12:17:42 AM): the ANESTHETIC excuse, bum bum bum!
miamigirl1288 (12:19:24 AM): anywho.
miamigirl1288 (12:20:27 AM): brb.
chrisv958 (12:20:31 AM): GUESSWHAT I FOUND
chrisv958 (12:20:31 AM): http://www.livejournal.com/community/ashlee_fans/
miamigirl1288 (12:21:21 AM): hahaaaa.
miamigirl1288 (12:21:26 AM): i'm not going to ask why you were looking for that.
miamigirl1288 (12:21:30 AM): but, she's not all that bad.
chrisv958 (12:21:30 AM): hahaha
miamigirl1288 (12:21:58 AM): i have an oreo snowdrift craving.
chrisv958 (12:22:13 AM): if they were open i would get one too
miamigirl1288 (12:22:20 AM): psh.
miamigirl1288 (12:22:24 AM): somebody needs to explain to the bou
miamigirl1288 (12:22:29 AM): that they NEED to be 24 hours.
miamigirl1288 (12:23:15 AM): brb.
miamigirl1288 (12:23:21 AM): braving the roaches...bum bum bum.
miamigirl1288 (12:26:11 AM): ANYWHO.
miamigirl1288 (12:26:13 AM): i am back.
miamigirl1288 (12:26:30 AM): but i really need to go before i say something that is too stupid to be excused by the 40 hour old anesthetic :-)
miamigirl1288 (12:27:35 AM): goodnight.
chrisv958 (12:28:06 AM): nice.
chrisv958 (12:28:10 AM): talk to you later
chrisv958 (12:28:14 AM): oh, and.
chrisv958 (12:28:24 AM): make sure you watch out for that roach under your pillow.
chrisv958 (12:28:28 AM): it just wants to be loved.
miamigirl1288 (12:28:43 AM): hahaaa.
miamigirl1288 (12:28:45 AM): don't we all?
miamigirl1288 (12:28:46 AM): :-) night
miamigirl1288 (12:30:37 AM): oh, and i assume you'll be signing my petition to make the bou open 24/7?
chrisv958 (12:30:43 AM): yes,.
chrisv958 (12:30:45 AM): of course.
miamigirl1288 (12:30:49 AM): good.
miamigirl1288 (12:31:11 AM): you'll have to let me know when's a good time for you to sign.
miamigirl1288 (12:31:13 AM): ANYWHO.
miamigirl1288 (12:31:14 AM): goodnight.
chrisv958 (12:31:53 AM): haha.
chrisv958 (12:32:02 AM): go to bed tessserita.
miamigirl1288 (12:32:29 AM): psh.
miamigirl1288 (12:32:32 AM): you oughta, too.
miamigirl1288 (12:32:38 AM): it is 12:30 in the morning, after all.
chrisv958 (12:32:49 AM): i have to work in exactly 12 hours minus 2 minutes.
chrisv958 (12:33:01 AM): actually, 17 minutes, so i can get on the clock early :-)
miamigirl1288 (12:33:09 AM): aw :-) loser.
chrisv958 (12:33:30 AM): at least i'm not broke or in debt with my parents.
miamigirl1288 (12:34:07 AM): i'll take THAT as an offer to take my debt off my hands.
miamigirl1288 (12:34:09 AM): and, i accept.
miamigirl1288 (12:34:12 AM): thanks, christopher!
miamigirl1288 (12:34:18 AM): you can deliver the money anytime tomorrow.
chrisv958 (12:34:27 AM): yea, uh, ok.
miamigirl1288 (12:35:05 AM): yeah, yeah.
miamigirl1288 (12:35:22 AM): anyway, point being, i may be broke, but i'm going to get more sleep than you.
miamigirl1288 (12:36:00 AM): if i just go to bed, which seems to be a task that's giving me a bit of trouble.
miamigirl1288 (12:36:05 AM): so, goodnight, and for real this time.
chrisv958 (12:36:12 AM): actually, just depends on what time you wake up
miamigirl1288 (12:36:26 AM): a mere technicality, my dear.
chrisv958 (12:36:28 AM): and how do you know i am not already mentally asleep,
chrisv958 (12:36:34 AM): just my body is at the computer.
miamigirl1288 (12:36:34 AM): i have the capacity to get more sleep, is the point.
miamigirl1288 (12:36:39 AM): ooh, good point.
miamigirl1288 (12:36:57 AM): but you have tangible proof that i am most definitely mentally asleep.
miamigirl1288 (12:37:03 AM): this conversation, that is. :-)
miamigirl1288 (12:38:42 AM): ANYWHO.
miamigirl1288 (12:38:46 AM): now i am going to bed.
miamigirl1288 (12:38:59 AM): and you should too, unless you're stocking up on caffeine a la caribou before work.
chrisv958 (12:39:03 AM): actually.
chrisv958 (12:39:07 AM): look att his first.
chrisv958 (12:39:19 AM): me and my friend are having a fight on a journal of one of ashlee simpson's friends.
chrisv958 (12:39:23 AM): http://www.livejournal.com/users/confused_alone/31443.html?view=70867#t70867
chrisv958 (12:39:30 AM): it may not be much now but wait until tomorrow.
miamigirl1288 (12:40:30 AM): man, chris.
miamigirl1288 (12:40:35 AM): you are TOO COOL FOR WORDS.
chrisv958 (12:40:45 AM): i know you are proud.
miamigirl1288 (12:41:03 AM): to know you?
miamigirl1288 (12:41:04 AM): but of course.
miamigirl1288 (12:41:07 AM): funny story, ok?
chrisv958 (12:42:06 AM): ok
miamigirl1288 (12:42:19 AM): remember that time when it snowed like a foot and a half
miamigirl1288 (12:42:25 AM): and there was an om sleepover at stern's?
chrisv958 (12:42:25 AM): yep
chrisv958 (12:42:27 AM): i was at sternos
miamigirl1288 (12:42:45 AM): and you took those pictures of you and stern and...will, or phil, maybe, but just one...out in the snow in your boxers?
chrisv958 (12:45:06 AM): yep
chrisv958 (12:45:18 AM): i was actually naked
miamigirl1288 (12:46:27 AM): hot.
miamigirl1288 (12:46:29 AM): um.
chrisv958 (12:46:34 AM): hahaha
miamigirl1288 (12:46:39 AM): so when i showed gabby those pictures
miamigirl1288 (12:46:43 AM): she starts cracking up
miamigirl1288 (12:46:49 AM): and i go "i know, i have goofy friends, don't i?"
miamigirl1288 (12:46:57 AM): and she goes "well, yeah, but...
miamigirl1288 (12:47:05 AM): do you realize you've dated two out of three of those guys?"
miamigirl1288 (12:47:10 AM): and then we laughed for a really long time.
chrisv958 (12:47:44 AM): that's cute.
chrisv958 (12:47:49 AM): :-D
miamigirl1288 (12:48:53 AM): :-)
miamigirl1288 (12:49:35 AM): ok.
miamigirl1288 (12:49:40 AM): now i REALLY need to go to bed.
miamigirl1288 (12:49:58 AM): i always end up staying up because you always take so long to respond and i hate to go to sleep without closure.
chrisv958 (12:50:08 AM): hahaha
chrisv958 (12:50:10 AM): fine.
chrisv958 (12:50:11 AM): goodnight.
chrisv958 (12:50:12 AM): sleep well.
miamigirl1288 (12:50:20 AM): you too.
miamigirl1288 (12:50:23 AM): sweet dreams.
chrisv958 signed off at 1:29:39 AM.
chrisv958 signed on at 11:04:38 AM.
chrisv958 signed off at 11:09:46 AM.
posted by Teresa at 12:01 PM